True story about watching Godzilla Minus One in theaters

I was looking for a night out with my emotional support alligator "Fluffy" and was thinking about what movie he'd like to see. Of course! The new Godzilla movie. It'd be perfect.

I got to the counter and ask, "Hey, can I get two tickets to Godzilla Minus One, please?".

The cashier said, "Huh? So you want one ticket to Godzilla?"

"No, I want two tickets to the movie Godzilla Minus One."

The cashier busted out a calculator, "Two... minus one...is...one."

"No, I want two tickets to the film where a gigantic beast stomps around and terrorizes people with loud sounds"

The cashier says, "Oh. You want two tickets to the Lizzo concert screening?"

"No, I want two tickets to Godzilla Minus One!"

"Look, when I took this job, the manager said there wouldn't be any math involved." And this guy was even employee of the month.

Eventually, we got the tickets, I got some beef jerky for Fluffy, and we went to enjoy the film.

The movie went on and it had some surprisingly strong antiwar themes. This was a big hit with the Trump supporters in the audience, but not so much with the Biden ones.

Eventually, the libtards started heckling the film. "The only asexual, nonbinary character in the film is Godzilla so of course they demonize him! Japan is such a white supremacist country!"

"Why did this hetero couple adopt a war orphan when there's so many same sex and gender nonconforming couples who deserve it more?"

"Why are they spending so much time talking about Godzilla destroying cities when the plight of transgender libs in post-World War 2 Japan is ignored altogether? And how come there's no women in leadership roles in the Japanese maritime industry?"

Eventually, some of the veteran Trump supporters in the theater, through a combination of being annoyed by the libtards and sympathizing with the main character's PTSD, had enough and laid the smackdown.

Then we went back to enjoying the film. Best Godzilla film since the original. Even Fluffy thought so.

The cinematography is phenomenal, the "less is more" approach to Godzilla screentime works wonders, the characters are awesome, the pacing is great, and the setting in post WW2 Japan is genius. 9/10. You want to see this one in theaters as it makes particularly strong use of the widescreen in its cinematography. This might be the best film of the year.